What a voice!

http://www.mattnathanson.com/

Alexander's Diagnosis

We made another visit to the developmental pediatrician today. The boys have been seen bi-annually by this practice since just before they left the NICU. At their last appointment four months ago Dr. T suggested that Alex might fall under the autism spectrum and that she would like to keep a closer eye on his development. Today we visited again, reports from his various therapists in hand. After inquiring as to my observations about Alex's development, attempting to evaluate him (he was very difficult to engage), and reviewing the reports from his therapists, Dr. T delivered the expected diagnosis: PDD-NOS.

As Dr. T explained, reaffirming my already strong beliefs, the diagnosis changes nothing. Alex is still the same child. The diagnosis is simply a tool to help Alex get the services that he needs. I know Alex is going to be fine. He may always be different, but he will learn how to get along the best he can in this world that expects everyone to be the same. What matters is that he is healthy and happy. What matters is that Alex knows that he is unconditionally loved, and that he always believes in and loves himself.

A Day in the Life of a Mom

Forget my youthful dreams of singing at the Met. This is awesome! All you moms must watch it!

Temper Tantrums and The Boob Tube

Sometimes when Alex is having a temper tantrum the only thing I can do to calm him down is to turn on the boob tube. This really bothers me. I want to be able to calm him down without numbing his brain. What did mothers do before television was invented?

My Family Secret

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9579250821

Thanks for sharing, Jenn!

Snotty, Snot, Snot

Spencer had his adenoids removed on Thursday. The procedure went well; the doctor was able to remove them without any bleeding. Spencer is a trooper. You would never know he just had surgery.

His adenoids were so enlarged that they were almost completely blocking his airway. Hence his decreased vocal quality (it was his speech pathologist that first pointed us in the direction of the ENT). What does having his adenoids out mean? Well, my rambunctious, sweet, wild child is going to get LOUDER. It also means that a dam of sorts has been removed and he will be draining mucus from his nose for awhile. Yuck! But hopefully it will mean a lot less sinus infections and snotty noses in his future.

Maybe this will be Spencer's first Christmas without a snotty nose!

Testy Two-Year-Olds

How does one find that balance between being too restrictive and being too permissive with a two-year-old? How do you find the place that allows him to explore and learn self-moderation but doesn't put him in danger and drive you, as his parent, crazy? And then how do you do it when you have TWO two-year-olds, that either work in cahoots or go in completely opposite directions? Why can't there be two of me, and why can't they both be a little calmer, less reactive?

Yesterday I came downstairs to find them both in the kitchen (gates do no good anymore). Spencer was having a condiment party (time to buy a refrigerator lock) and Alex was covered in oven grease. Both the oven racks were on the floor and judging from his appearance he had climbed INTO the oven!!!! (I bought an oven lock but because of the way the stove is made it won't work).

Today Spencer broke a nightlight. I'm upstairs trying to vacuum up the glass, and up comes Alex, crawling onto the landing, right into the mess! I finally get it cleaned up without any injuries, and downstairs I go to find Spencer in the fridge again, trying to drink ketchup from the bottle.

Have I mentioned that Spencer can get through any gate or door? He's like Houdini! I've been yelling a lot lately, and I hate it. I hate yelling. Then I cry because I'm so frustrated and scared that they're going to hurt themselves, and then Spencer cries because he doesn't like to see me upset. And Alex withdraws. As if Alex needs to withdraw any more than he already does. Spencer gets so much attention because he demands it, and Alex, who needs the attention so badly, gets forgotten.

This was just supposed to be a quick, light-hearted post about the wiles of my two-year-olds and now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes again. To be honest, I'm scared. Scared that Alex will retreat further into himself and become full-blown autistic, scared that I'm going to start yelling and never going to stop, that my children will be afraid of me, won't be able to trust me.

Okay, I'm tired. We all have a cold. "Weeping may remain for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." A Bible verse from my religious days that always help me remember that things will look better after a good night's sleep.

Halloween Pictures

This is all I've got. I don't think I mentioned that Spencer broke my digital camera. I need to buy a new battery and some film for my Olympus. The camera phone only takes good pictures if my subject isn't moving much (i.e. does not take good pictures of two-year-olds).

Wish

I want THIS for Christmas!