Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Modeling For My Sons

I'm going to be honest. I like it when my sons see me upset. Why? Because then they see me get over it. They see me become calm, kind, and even joyful again. I can be so very angry. I express it, sometimes vehemently. And then I let it go. I can be sobbing like somebody just died. Half an hour later I'm hugging and kissing them and my sense of humor has returned. I always explain why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and I apologize if needed, but then the past is in the past and it's time to move on. Grudges, pining, and ruminating are a waste of energy. Forgiving, letting go, and trusting: those take far less energy and result in so much peace and happiness. I hope that's what my sons see in me, and they grow up to be men who can feel their feelings fully, and then let them go.

Thursday, February 2, 2017


I post a lot about what's happening in our nation and our world right now, both on Facebook and Twitter. There are those who say that people like me need to give it a break, tone it down, take time out and for triviality. "We all need a break from the politics." "I care. Just because I don't want to focus on it doesn't mean I don't care." I understand that. You care. That's great. But caring doesn't change anything. Neither do anger, sadness, and wishing it weren't so.

I choose to focus my mental energy on the politics and problems of our nation because I want to be part of the change. I don't want to just care. This fight is too important to put aside for trivial things. I need to stay informed and I need to share that information with others. Right now, at this time in our country's history, Facebook and Twitter aren't as much social networks for me as they are social JUSTICE networks for me: a place to connect with others who are working to protect the human rights of ALL of the citizens of our nation and world. I don't do this to preach, proselytize, guilt trip, or cause conflict. I do it because I believe I have power and I need to use it to fight injustice. I choose to remain focused. I choose to remain vigilant. I will not lay my burden down.

Sunday, January 22, 2017


We march, we protest, we speak out on social media and in our lives because if we stay silent nothing will change. If we stay silent we are guilty: guilty of prejudice, of discrimination, of misogyny, of hatred, of indifference to the suffering of the poor and the disadvantaged. We CANNOT be silent. We CANNOT be complacent. There is too much at stake.

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dare
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Paper and Ink

So, I'm sitting here having a freak-out about money and I decide to meditate for a minute to ground myself and calm down (DBT skills for the win). I come out of my little meditation to hear Tracey Chapman on Pandora singing "Money's only paper and ink. Money's only paper and ink." Yes, womyn! Next song that comes on? My favorite, favorite, FAVORITE go-to song when I'm stressed: "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls. Does the Universe know what I need, or what? I freakin love music.