How does one find that balance between being too restrictive and being too permissive with a two-year-old? How do you find the place that allows him to explore and learn self-moderation but doesn't put him in danger and drive you, as his parent, crazy? And then how do you do it when you have TWO two-year-olds, that either work in cahoots or go in completely opposite directions? Why can't there be two of me, and why can't they both be a little calmer, less reactive?
Yesterday I came downstairs to find them both in the kitchen (gates do no good anymore). Spencer was having a condiment party (time to buy a refrigerator lock) and Alex was covered in oven grease. Both the oven racks were on the floor and judging from his appearance he had climbed INTO the oven!!!! (I bought an oven lock but because of the way the stove is made it won't work).
Today Spencer broke a nightlight. I'm upstairs trying to vacuum up the glass, and up comes Alex, crawling onto the landing, right into the mess! I finally get it cleaned up without any injuries, and downstairs I go to find Spencer in the fridge again, trying to drink ketchup from the bottle.
Have I mentioned that Spencer can get through any gate or door? He's like Houdini! I've been yelling a lot lately, and I hate it. I hate yelling. Then I cry because I'm so frustrated and scared that they're going to hurt themselves, and then Spencer cries because he doesn't like to see me upset. And Alex withdraws. As if Alex needs to withdraw any more than he already does. Spencer gets so much attention because he demands it, and Alex, who needs the attention so badly, gets forgotten.
This was just supposed to be a quick, light-hearted post about the wiles of my two-year-olds and now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes again. To be honest, I'm scared. Scared that Alex will retreat further into himself and become full-blown autistic, scared that I'm going to start yelling and never going to stop, that my children will be afraid of me, won't be able to trust me.
Okay, I'm tired. We all have a cold. "Weeping may remain for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." A Bible verse from my religious days that always help me remember that things will look better after a good night's sleep.
3 comments:
Oh sweetie! It will get better, I promise. Just like our job is to protect & nurture them, theirs is to be adventurous and to test us.
(((HUGS)))
Oh, how I remember the days of toddler twins. You just described it so well, it brought tears to my eyes. All the fear and frustration.
I know firsthand that the Joy does come in the morning! I just wrote about my girls yesterday- what a difference they are now that they are 8- actually, I started enjoying them a lot more right about kindergarten age... and I just know you will too- hang in there!
Oh the trials of two year old boys - for you times two! One day will be crazy but the next they will be so sweet and cute. Try to hold on to the sweet and cute days! I that you all are on the mend from your colds and that you have a wonderful day!
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