I'm having a really hard time with accepting that Spencer is not a more typical child. I know it sounds awful, and it's just something I'm sorting through, but I was kind of holding on to the hope that at least one of my boys would be more typical. I kept thinking that his behaviors were just the effects of his age and some sensory issues. They were becoming more problematic at home but I thought it was just a stage he would outgrow. I had no idea until this week how much of a problem his behaviors at school are. I don't know if I was just in denial, or if his teacher and I just weren't communicating enough.
I was thinking to myself this afternoon "How am I going to parent two kids with special needs?" and then I thought "The same way you have been, silly!" The diagnosis doesn't change anything. It just gives us tools to use to help Spencer. I have to accept that he needs that extra help. I have put so much time and energy into helping Alex. Now I need to split my attention more and give Spencer what he needs. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by it all right now. Need to take some deep breaths and do some more reading.
1 comment:
Oh boy can I relate to that. For so long, all eyes were on JP. HIs issues were so much "bigger" and obvious. I sort of "shelved" Seth's problems under the "Oh, he's just a boy." category. I was angry and frustrated and then ultimately sad that we had two with difficulties and then I got a serious case of guilt over missing the signals.
Its been about a year since Seth was diagnosed with his ADHD. Its weird, he is sometimes harder to deal with than JP. At least with JP I can get him busy or he will happily play alone, but Seth? He does need a lot of guidance.
I get days where I'm exhausted I'm feeling really down. I pop a movie on the tv and have some down time. No guilt over using tv, just 90 minutes of time out. The boys need the down time as much as I do and when its over, we're ready to change gears in a relatively calm and renewed state.
Technology has its advantages! Here's hoping you're feeling better today, if not.. may I suggest Rocket's Firebird Rescue? Its a Little Einstein movie and its just about an hour long. I could kiss them for making this!!
:D
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