It's a lay-on-the-couch-under-blankets-and-self-reproach-and-watch-TV-all-day kind of day. There's just no rhyme or reason for why a person can feel okay one day and like they have the flu the next with this disease. Another day of scarce work lost. I hate cancelling on people. To the world it must look like I'm unreliable or that I just don't care, but in reality it's a blow to my self-esteem every time I have to make the decision to let someone down.

Listening to my MMW seeded Pandora station and cooking some good eats. On the menu: oven fried chicken, broccoli carrot slaw with sesame soy ginger vinaigrette and toasted sesame seeds, sauteed mixed greens with garlic, and oven fried potatoes. So thankful I feel well enough to cook again.

This January I participated in a 10 day cleanse focused on clean eating and other self nurturing practices (e.g. exercise, body brushing, meditation). As I continue to follow much of what I was doing on the cleanse my energy and mental clarity have been slowly improving, and I have been a lot less irritable. The cleanse was exactly what I needed to get me out of the long period of stagnancy I've been in since well before my diagnosis. I feel as though I'm finally starting to live again, instead of just surviving. The fatigue and pain are still here, but my mind and spirit are feeling better, and I believe in time that my body will, too. I'm so very thankful for the nutritional coach and friend who led the cleanse, and for the fabulous group of people who participated. My heart is full of gratitude.

Spencer asked "Mommy, will you draw up my covers?" (e.g. tuck him in). After I did so he said "Will you rub my back and all those pleasant things?" I love the effect all of his reading has on his vocabulary.